As we embark on a new week of brilliance in the sporting world (stuff your sorry in a sack), I just want to recap some of the weekend highlights.
1. Dance recital: video-taping dad and guy heading to his assigned seat have to be separated. Cost of flowers if you failed to plan ahead was $7 per bunch. There were 30 performances, including boys dancing to “It’s Tricky” and numerous Adele songs. Why don’t you cycle in some Lady Antebellum and hand out mini-bottles of rum on the way in while you’re at it? Also, I kept thinking the two teenage boys participating in the hip hop number had this world figured out.
2. Lunch at Nelson’s was fantastic. I appreciate the glory of “Sea Hunt” (respect to Petros & Matt), but I kept yelling “Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!”
3. Go for hikes in Palos Verdes if you can. The ocean view and sound of the rocks being dragged by the tide dominates. Look off the path a bit to find the undergarments that have been caught in the wind. What? It’s a beautiful and evidently, um, inspiring view.
4. At a birthday party, I found my target audience. I stalled the youngsters while the cake was being cut. I believe that I could have made them my minions and wreaked havoc on the unsuspecting South Bay community. Instead, I played the proverbial clown. Big stretch, right?
5. Mad Men closed out Season 5 with a Bond tie. I heard Jared Harris on NPR discussing the show and the evolution of “Lane Pryce,” his career and love of Tootsie, among other things. The son of the legendary Richard Harris offered a fantastic interview. I’ll link it up once it’s available.
6. The Heat advanced and set up the “Good/Evil” matchup with the Thunder, though I believe LeBron haters (not you Cleveland people) need to shut it. Pretend he had a WWE “heel” moment and move on. Similarly, the loss likely closed the big on the first installment of “The Big Three (Plus Rondo).” Get over the fact that they didn’t smile for the camera and hug it out.
Do you want to cry about fixes and coincidences and scripting as this series gets underway?
7. If Kevin Garnett does, in fact, hang it up and step into retirement, you can choose to remember him for one million reasons. He jumped straight to the NBA out of high school (Farragut Academy). You have him cursing in interviews and randomly on the court, running through demonstrative post-basket celebrations, a title, several Conference Finals appearances, 24,000 points and 10,000 rebounds. I’ll always remember him for this .
8. Speaking of those, how many writers have been scrawling out one-liners for the Devils-Kings dramatic finish. “City of Angels”/Devils puns? I just keep yelling, “Martin!” (Go watch the opening of the Martin Lawrence show. That jam will stay in your head all day. If the Devils win, do we start quoting scripture or “The Devil’s Advocate,” a late-night cable television staple?
9. Boxing was a cesspool before Saturday night. Perhaps it was stirred by the split-decision, but it didn’t move the needle for me. It did/does make for some damn fine radio chatter and spurs on some faux indignation and disgust. “Child, please.”
Here’s my summary of the Pacquiao-Bradley fallout. Why didn’t the folks in the Pacquaio corner lose their minds? Boxing won because we’re still talking about it.
Oh, and as a man who needs extra time to work out his calves, I can’t blame Manny at all.
10. Saw Jay Leno doing his regular Sunday night set at the Hermosa Beach Comedy & Magic Club. Working up some bits for The Tonight Show, but curious that he and his two colleagues to hit the stage before him kept taking runs at Bill Clinton. Clinton, coincidentally, will be around my beach area to be the commencement speaker at the local high school. I’ll pause to let you make your snide comments.
11. I added “Participate in Open Mic Night” and “Improv Classes” to my bucket list. Kevin James, Drew Carey (sitcom Drew) and Patton Oswalt need a fourth.
12. Joey Logano won at Pocono. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. started eighth and finished eighth while rolling in the No. 88 ride.
13. Chris Sale lowered his ERA to 2.05. The White Sox come out to LA to face the Dodgers on Friday. Can’t wait.
14. I bought tickets to The Book of Mormon at The Pantages Theater in Los Angeles. The show has won NINE Tony Awards.
15. I love Chris Mannix’s work in SI. On Monday, Mannix guest-hosted “The Dan Patrick Show” and landed The White Whale. He had Mark-Paul Gosselaar on the show to talk Saved By The Bell, NYPD Blue and his latest work, my guilty pleasure, Franklin & Bash.
16. My heart goes out to the victims’ families in the shooting near Auburn University.
17. Dallas returns to the airwaves on Wednesday night. Are you excited? I’d rather see Larry Dallas’ character resurrected, as we discussed in the “Bring Back
18. TOPANGA! TOPANGA! TOPANGA! (You really should have listened to the Sunday morning show.)
* 19. I forgot about the “I’ll Have Another” Belmont Stakes controversy. Anytime I hear the term “milkshake,” I conjure images of Daniel Day-Lewis and think about the penalties and suspension of Doug O’Neill. In your weekend of conspiracy stories, this one slipped to the back of consciousness following the aforementioned boxing event. Check out the story of this late scratch on FOXSports.com.