It had to happen.

I held out as long as I could before going down this path. With the first round of the 2012 NFL Draft just a few hours away, I finally broke down and drew up the proverbial big board. Count me among the millions that have sojourned in fantasyland, where picks 1-32 go down without drama and shifts. It’s a land where selections are done quickly and quietly and nobody shuffles out of their predetermined spots. There are no shots of despondent players in green rooms and the analysts sing the praises of every selection.

Don’t worry. Philadelphia fans still boo mercilessly (maybe they should take Whitney Mercilus?) and that Jets chant still plays ad nausea.

The Twitterverse will be alive and active this afternoon with myriad rumors, conjecture and speculation. More than a few deals will be consummated before the day is done, with that No. 3 spot as the starting point. I’ve been wondering all along about Matt Kalil and whether he’s the choice in Minnesota or if they deal out of the spot.

Does Miami need to move up to avoid getting trumped on the QB chase? Will one of the heavyweights from the back-end of the first round package their multiple picks to their needier counterparts?

If you want the true “suspense” of the NFL Draft, then step away from your phone, your computer, your tablet and avoid me.

Without further ado, I present the “No Movement” First-Round Mock Draft. I am prepared for your derision. I welcome it.

1 Indianapolis Andrew Luck
2 Washington Robert Griffin III
3 Minnesota Morris Claiborne
4 Cleveland Trent Richardson
5 Tampa Bay Stephon Gilmore
6 St. Louis Matt Kalil
7 Jacksonville Justin Blackmon
8 Miami Ryan Tannehill
9 Carolina Fletcher Cox
10 Buffalo Riley Reiff
11 Kansas City Luke Kuechly
12 Seattle Dontari Poe
13 Arizona David DeCastro
14 Dallas Mark Barron
15 Philadelphia Michael Brockers ** Cut-n-paste not a skill I possess
16 New York Jets Chandler Jones
17 Cincinnati Melvin Ingram
18 San Diego Courtney Upshaw
19 Chicago Quinton Coples
20 Tennessee Kendall Wright
21 Cincinnati Whitney Mercilus
22 Cleveland Brandon Weeden
23 Detroit Janoris Jenkins
24 Pittsburgh Cordy Glenn
25 Denver Dre Kirkpatrick
26 Houston Jerel Worthy
27 New England Stephen Hill
28 Green Bay Shea McClellin
29 Baltimore Bruce Irvin
30 San Francisco Kevin Zeitler
31 New England Nick Perry
32 New York Giants Doug Martin