Owens signed a one-year deal to join his reality television tag-team partner, Chad Ochocinco, in Cincinnati. The move gives Carson Palmer his deepest and most potent receiving corps ever, with Antonio Bryant coming over from Tampa Bay and rookie Jermaine Gresham expected to make an immediate impact. Palmer, in his second year back from injury, is primed to have a big season with Cedric Benson handling the running load again. He’s being drafted as one of the first QB2s, but could become a weekly starter in short order.

The Bengals appeared to be the fit all along for Owens, but that didn’t stop the chatter about the Rams, Raiders, Bears, Jets and seemingly countless other squads. There was talk about Owens’ salary demands. There was talk about his locker room demeanor. There was talk about his ability to fit as a secondary option.

The Bengals ultimately decided that veteran receiver had something left in his tank, as I’d argued all along after watching his efforts in Buffalo last season. There were flashes of his old breakaway self, but perhaps too few to convince some (look at the line and QB play in Buffalo).

In Cincinnati, Ochocinco is unquestionably the headliner. Owens will be the No. 2, with Bryant sliding down in the pecking order (he slid very deep in a draft in which I participated on Tuesday night). There’s potential for 60-70 receptions if things go properly and this unit stays healthy. I’d ranked him as a WR3 this preseason with the assumption that he’d enter a situation in which he could make an impact. Owens might have had a larger statistical impact in St. Louis, but he’ll have the opportunity to produce in what could be an upper-tier offense, particularly with Antwan Odom and the defense ready to get after it.

Now, I mentioned that Ochocinco is the headliner here. The Bengals are banking that Owens doesn’t become the locker room equivalent of a heckler.

I understand that people are going to keep asking the questions. I recognize their need to get a soundbyte out there and lay the verbal smackdown on “the decision.”

In the past week, Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson and countless other NBA legends have lined up to make their sentiments known about the gathering in Miami.

It was a different era, where the players hardly dealt with one another, Magic & Isaiah’s embraces aside, and fought to beat one another senseless. It was also a different era, where the salary cap didn’t exist, free agency was reserved for secondary and tertiary players and where the money didn’t weight you down with an extra zero.

They’re the legends of the game, and while we certainly appreciate their thoughts on the matter, and I don’t know that we’ve been surprised by anything said. The video game titles of the era said it all — “Bird VS. Magic” — “Jordan VS. Bird.”

If anything, maybe it serves as a nice marketing piece to get the names back in the discussion (not that we don’t talk about Michael, Larry & Magic). Maybe it forces new NBA fans that wish to deify a LeBron James to do their homework and go back and watch the DVDs and classic games of the 80s and 90s teams. Maybe it forces them to take off the rose-colored glasses and recognize the history.

You have to give James and company this – we’re 10 days from training camps beginning in earnest, the trade deadline is approaching in MLB and orders for face paint have spiked on college campuses — and we’re talking about the NBA! David Stern can talk about how much he hates the way this was handled and so on, but every day that the NBA takes centerstage is a good day.

In “Highlander,” the mantra was that “there can be only one.”

Well, I guess that that “one” resides in Los Angeles and wears No. 24.

I have a new theory about what caused the powers to converge in Miami. I blame the “participation trophy” mentality.

It was a ridiculously busy week followed by a lengthy and gruesome illness. As such, the posting slowed over the last couple days.

Somewhat-rested, I’m ready to get back after it and start banging away on content.

I have a TON of audio to edit and post in the next several days, including interviews with Amare Stoudemire, Tim Tebow, C.J. Spiller, Dexter McCluster, Golden Tate, Mike Williams, Gerald McCoy, Ben Tate, Patrick Kane, Shaun Phillips, Jon Beason, Larry English …

Need more?

… how about Patrick Willis, Takeo Spikes, Dashon Goldson, Vernon Davis, Andre Berto, Jonathan Dwyer and a host of others.

Get inside the Dome. There are a ton of rants, ramblings and stat views to come in short order.

Football season is coming.

Lock and load.

I do have to ask the base question. I posted it on Facebook and Twitter, and I reiterate it here ….

Is there a better or more complete switch from “face” to “heel” than LeBron’s departure for Miami? This trumps Rocky Maivia becoming “The Rock” or Hulk Hogan’s rise in the black and white colors of the nWo.

On Thursday, the grandiose spectacle that was the “decision” (I refuse to capitalize it) was unleashed after the countdown clocks wound to triple zero.

The Cavaliers are incensed, believing that they did everything possible to keep him there. In his letter to fans, did Dan Gilbert intentionally leave out the Ferry and Smith firings, essentially telling fans and LeBron (and his team) that he was loyal to LeBron in those dismissals?

LeBron made the best decision for winning and for business. I had thought he’d stay home in Cleveland, but the idea of a Miami “Legion of Doom” or Chicago run wouldn’t have surprised me. In the end, he’ll play with his friends and try to bring another title, or series of them, to Miami. How can you blame him from a straight business move? It was a brave, bold choice.

Although, forget about the money side of things for a minute. He’ll make up a lot of the salary differential in state taxes he won’t pay for taking up residence in Florida.

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I don’t know. I wished there had been some cheerleaders, a marching band or that Will Smith had popped out from behind a curtain to start singing. Wouldn’t that have been something?

Instead, there was silence and a whole lot of nothing.

The open letter helps to build some drama, and many have likened LeBron to Art Modell (including Larry Fitzgerald on his Twitter feed). He’ll be the villain in Cleveland forever, but most of the bile nationwide is reserved for his marketing people and the network that broadcast his announcement.

I made the wrestling references before to remind folks of the fact that while you may have had that initial – “why???” and anger moment (remember the shots of grown men crying when Hogan revealed the nWo?), those guys eventually became crowd favorites.

Winning gets people on your side. Winning brings, well, HEAT.

Cue the “Miami Vice” theme and let’s talk some football.

Can we add a couple musical acts for this hour-long special? Maybe find someone that Elton John hasn’t played with yet, or let Ron Artest sing his “Champion” song?

Seriously, it’s great PR and a spectacle to end the weeks, nay, months of rumor, conjecture or speculation. And, we’ll be the better for it. The NBA has been in the news for an extra month beyond the end of the Finals – and I can just see David Stern sitting at his desk, fingers extended in a Montgomery Burnsian-like fashion with an “Excellent” muttered under his breath for good measure.

Roger Goodell has to have mixed feelings. He doesn’t have the full media scrutiny of the media during the recent rage of arrests. Unfortunately, he also doesn’t have the media frenzy that normally surrounds the final weeks heading into training camp.

Major League Baseball has Strasburg and the wonderful world of trading card sales ($20K, anyone?). The All-Star Game is in the news only because of the usual litany of omissions and the talking heads getting incensed over perceived snubs.

I get that you want to stand up for the local pitcher or hitter that was omitted, but let’s at least make some cohesive, intelligent arguments to support your candidate. Remember, the rosters are put together with several factors in mind. You have the NATIONWIDE TV audience, the people in the park, the players, executives, commissioner and coaches/manager to consider. Pure stat guys (I like my numbers, but let’s not kid ourselves) are going nuts about strikeout totals and such, but take the full picture into account.

But, I digress.

I won’t be watching Thursday’s special. I figure I’ll be more entertained by the collection of comedians (real and self-appointed), scribes, pundits and friends that make up my Twitter list (I’m @swollendome, for those interested) than with the elimination chamber or whatever the hell is going on during that hour.

I would be intrigued to see the GMs or owners or some team representative in some sort of competition, with the last man standing declared the victor of James’ services … as he sat on a throne with assorted capes, sceptres and crowns in the various team colors decorating the walls.

I joked on the daily podcast that I do with John Halpin that James and his team should have worked with Dana White to present a solid UFC undercard.

Or, let’s take fighting to another level. Resurrect the “Living In America”-type entrance for James and his posse like that used by Carl Weathers before he was bludgeoned by Drago in Rocky IV. I know that James Brown isn’t availab, RIP, but we can probably work up a re-mixed version of the song and add a Lil’ Jon “Yeahh!” or something.

Man, to be a producer for a day …

Instead, I’ll be watching “Bad Lieutenant” (the Harvey Keitel version) and watching the Ubaldo-Carpenter battle on the DVR. I’ll let @sportsguy33, @darrenrovell1, @adamcarolla or @PetrosandMoney fill in the team abbreviation.

I’ll have plenty of time to break down the teams as they get assembled before tip-off of the new season.

I’m not spreading my bets around like most. Despite the late money moving toward NY (literally, per the movement of stock prices on Wednesday), I still believe that James stays in Cleveland.

Still, nothing would surprise me at this point.

Wake me when it’s over.

He was 45. He was 45.

I let out an audible sigh and thought back to watching Probert go to work from the third deck of the United Center. Other than “The Anthem,” nothing brought the faithful Chicago fans to their feet faster and more enthusiastically than Probert dropping the gloves.

You watched him when the Red Wings visited the old Chicago Stadium, the enforcer who sneakily piled up points for Detroit, and cheered for whomever he battled in the Hawks sweater. And then, like when A.J. Pierzynski joined the White Sox, he became “your guy” while battling former Hawk Stu Grimson, Tie Domi or the enforcer of your choosing. It wasn’t a matter of if, it was when Probert was going to enthrall the crowd and send a message.

He was the hero of those early hockey video games depicted in “Swingers,” where you’d send Probert out in search of your opponent’s top scorer. And Don Cherry made a mint off Probert in his video series.

The fierceness with which he battled on the ice mirrored his off-field issues. Probert had several well-chronicled run-ins with law enforcement that included assault charges and substance use. He was indicted by a Federal grand jury on cocaine smuggling charges in 2006.

Probert found some peace in recent years. He reconciled with the Wings and appeared at Red Wings alumni events, including Steve Yzerman’s sweater retirement in 2007. The hockey-savvy crowd cheered their longtime enforcer.

Each day, I get the opportunity to sit, write and react to the latest sports news and accomplishments on the field. Retirements, off-field transgressions and shifts in personnel bring me back to those days of rabid fandom in Chicago.

In mid-June, I thought of those late-80s and early-90s Blackhawks teams fondly while watching Roenick tear up and Toews, Kane and Neimi skate around with Lord Stanley’s Cup. I revisit those memories again this week with a sigh.

Probert was just 45.

Click here to see Probert at work against Domi.

Anyway, I rolled off with a huge (this ain’t Venti) cup of Joe to check out a 10am showing of “Grown Ups.” It wasn’t crowded. Most of those creeping toward the ticket window were shouting about Woody, Buzz or the aforementioned Twilight phenomenon, so I crept into a fairly quiet, sparsely attended screening — just in time to see the previews.

I’d heard rumblings of another “Meet The Parents” film. I almost cried after seeing the trailer – not of laughter, but of fear and misery. I’ll see it at some point on ye olde Roku player because of my love of the DeNiro-Keitel combination.

And then, we got to the main event. Perhaps 10am isn’t the best time for slapstick (and sometimes juvenile) humor, at least until the coffee kicks in. Just listen to an interview with a stand-up comic and they’ll tell you as much. So, the jab-jab-jab delivery sometimes had the effect of a sledgehammer on me at times, but the general tone and sentiment of the movie shouldn’t be dismissed.

We’re used to seeing Adam Sandler and his band of merrymen delivering zingers, ridiculous (in a grand way) set-ups and one-liners galore. The inter-play that you’ve seen in past films in there, but they’re, well, grown up. That is to say, fans of the members of this troupe, see that this is the ideal for filmmaking.

It’s like when George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and the band of thieves get together for another Ocean’s caper. Or, when Ben Stiller rolls up Owen Wilson and the boys or Jason Segal, Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill … you get the point.

You feel as if you’re looking in on a genuine exchange, where the one-liners and smack-talking echoes their private exchanges and that the over-arching storyline is but a notecard in an improv sketch.

The cast members have, in fact, grown up, with kids of their own, and those hopes, fears, moments of pride and confusion all ring true. See Rock’s “Good Hair” for a look at fatherhood through his unique lens.

And we thank Sandler and the team at Happy Madison for giving us the gifts of Salma Hayek and Maria Bello (and the comedic timing of the radiant Maya Rudolph, who gave birth to a baby girl in November).

There are a couple shots in the film of the parents standing back and watching the kids play and interact with one another. Anyone who has cared for a child a kid knows the thoughts that run through your head during those quiet moments and the little smile and gleam in your eye that occur. That step back from the everyday hustle and bustle can’t always occur at a picturesque lakeside resort. But, as Sandler’s Hollywood agent character and his spoiled family (and everybody else, for that matter) learn, it’s necessary to hit the pause button.

Along the way, we get a great re-telling of the old “let’s create a 30-year old sports grudge” (Seinfeld’s Race, “The Best of Times” and myriad other tv shows and films — I’ll compile a list this weekend and post) with great work from Colin Quinn and Steve Buscemi.

The water park scene gives us quick-hits from Dan Patrick and Norm MacDonald. Don’t worry. The “pee in the pool” ad series doesn’t give away all of the scene.

In the end, I don’t think anybody walks away unsatisfied.

You get the one-liners and shenanigans that put these guys on the map.
You get Kevin James working the physical comedy and showing range with the, uh, unique situations presented by his familial unit.
You get the additions of Madison Riley and Jamie Chung as Schneider’s daughters from past marriages.
You get the aforementioned female leads.

And, at the center of this thing … you get a lot of heart.

Andy Samberg Opens The FIFA World Cup with EA Sports

Late last week, I had the opportunity to head over to the Universal Citywalk in Los Angeles for a soccer festival conducted by EA Sports. They loaded up crates of soccer balls, video monitors and connected US and UK fans through the “Balls to Brits” event. There was a huge monitor with a feed from London and a huge soccer display in LA, where smack-talking notes were sent back and forth via soccer ball boots.

Andy Samberg of “Saturday Night Live” opened the event and launched the opening salvo (three tries). I had a chance to chat with Samberg on his viral video brilliance, his work on SNL, his love of soccer and comedic inspiration. He was, as you’d expect, ready with a bevy of one-liners and wit.

It’s a one-question clip with some comical responses therein. The players were asked about the potential new home of the NBA’s biggest free agent.

Bulls, Knicks, Nets …. Lakers? Lakers are a new one here …

Check it out .

As such, it took weeks to wind to completion, and more than a few twists and turns occurred in the NFL to alter the initial response to certain picks. My selection of LenDale White in the ninth round says it all (my full diatribe concerning his release from the Seahawks can be heard at a sports bar near you …).

Check out the draft here .

What do you think? Any surprises in this PPR league that allows zero transactions?

I’ll review this draft later on during the week while posting the grid form.

My reward for the inane start to the journey was that Delta offered me a choice of television stations. My daughter was able to get caught up in episodes of “River Monsters” (I’ll talk about that genius new show in a separate piece later in the week) and “Big Fat Liar.” That allowed me to settle into my seat and enjoy the first two periods of Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals between the Blackhawks and Flyers (the third period would be waiting for me on the DVR).

The Flyers came out, well, flying and tried to gain an early advantage with aggressive play. The Blackhawks matched that early intensity and ultimately took the lead in the second period. They sustained the charge and battled to a 2-0 series lead.

Much has been made about Chris Pronger’s swiping of the puck following each of the Blackhawks’ first two wins. Who cares? The only concern for the Blackhawks should be the scoreboard. If Pronger’s swiping at the puck, Niemi did his job and can buy himself plenty of souvenirs with his next contract. Pronger’s job is to agitate, hit and raise your ire. Play hockey.

The series moves to Philadelphia for Game 3 on Wednesday night. Hockey fans and those casual folks that have gotten caught up in the action will be herded into their local sports bars for this contest. NBC has gotten great ratings for the first two games, the best in the sport’s history, but there’s no stopping “The Biggest Loser” monster. Instead of Game 3, outgoing exec Jeff Zucker and his staff will replay the new Jillian Michaels vehicle that premiered YESTERDAY!

And before anybody starts with the “it deserves to be on,” let’s do the math. I LOVE my sports and find myself sitting with college softball and old-school bodybuilding competitions on in the middle of the night. It comes down to cash. The NHL Playoffs got a 4.1 rating on Monday. I suspect that NBC’s move to repeat Michaels’ show crushes that number. As the famous saying goes “follow the money.”

You can’t get creative with your lineup when you’re hemorrhaging cash and just paid a ton of money for that late-night swaparoo. You have to go with the established behemoth and pump it up. I would have found some cutting-room footage from the recently-completed “The Biggest Loser” season and created “bonus” episodes to milk it for all it’s worth, but that’s just me. It would have at least contained the red ink for awhile ….

So, what does that mean? You don’t have Versus?

Don’t scrap the momentum. Don’t miss a piece of history. The Hawks haven’t won since 1961, and the Flyers don’t go down without a fight (literally and figuratively).

Get home from work. Get a non-hockey loving sitter (one who watches The Biggest Loser, perhaps?).

The Olympics spurred the nation’s interest in hockey. Now, it’s time to finish the season with a big push. Put the Lakers-Celtics talk to the side. No, wait. Take that to the bar with you. Talk about Ubaldo Jimenez. Talk about the BP oil spill.

Just get out and watch Game 3. You’ll be pumping up your local establishments and who knows? Maybe you’ll find your soulmate rockin’ the sweater … If not, you still get frosty beverages, wings and some other assorted gastronomic atrocities while watching playoff hockey.

That’s a win.

Enter the chat

It’s been done before, with Shawne Merriman, Julius Peppers and the Williams Wall in Minnesota, so the precedent had been set. But never had there been a decision to hold a second ballot and allow voters to change their minds. Ultimately, not enough of them did to change the voting. The gap narrowed, but Cushing still edged out Jairus Byrd for the award. He can’t go to the Pro Bowl this year, but he’ll still get his bonus if he performs in his 12 games back.

Does it send the statement that voters had already assumed Cushing was juiced before the test results were announced?

Does it send the statement that it’s just assumed that there’s a percentage of use in the league and that Cushing was just unlucky enough to get caught? (Can we talk about HGH again for a moment?)

Was Cushing’s performance just superior to the other rookies, so it wasn’t an issue?

Was his four-game suspension deemed enough by the voters, as he’ll also lose four games of pay?

Did the voters look to a larger issue of opening things up and changing up the books and awards from previous seasons?

Oh, and why was he still on the ballot if you’re opening this back up?

Finally, is it like Ving Rhames told Bruce Willis in “Pulp Fiction” that the voice was “pride (expletive) with you.” That is to say, the voters stuck to their original takes (for the most part) and were going to be damned if they were to be told their judgment was incorrect.
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Whatever the answer on these questions are for each of the voting members, I can only hope that this re-vote and the debate of the past week forces the NFL and the NFLPA to come to an agreement on expediting the appeals process. Let’s not have things hanging out in the balance and coming out months after the season ended. Get the date. Get the information. Get the appeals process done.

The Commissioner’s office is swift and decisive on seemingly every other issue. This is an area in need of immediate improvement.

What if the Texans had made a playoff run? What if he hadn’t been there for the Week 2 win over Tennessee?
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As for those passing judgment on Cushing, I go back to my same argument that I’ve banged on for years …

If you were going to make millions and millions of dollars and the downside was that your health may be compromised some years later, wouldn’t you take that chance for the immediate glory?

Sign me up.

What happened to the Oakland organization that always left me on the edge of my seat, defying logic and common sense at every turn?

The Raiders drafted well, made the deal to bring Jason Campbell in from Washington and now jettisoned Russell to the scrap heap. He made off with $39 million in this three years with the squad, so there’s a compulsion to list him at or among the league’s worst busts of all time. I can’t argue about his placement on the list, as the numbers speak for themselves. Russell’s final stretch of games in the 2008 season, where he seemingly found his stride, was just a mirage. I don’t know that an adjective exists to describe precisely how terribly Russell played last season. His work ethic, or lack thereof, is a thing of legend.

Can I offer this in his defense … he was playing for the Raiders! Russell stands as the poster boy, the most prominent face of the Oakland Mount Rushmore, representing years of illogical moves, bad signings and unfulfilled promise from draft picks. It became a running joke since that Super Bowl appearance against former coach Jon Gruden and the Buccaneers.

How did a man who was a football genius and helped build the league into its current state suddenly forget how to run a team?

Somehow, someway, a new world order began in Oakland this April. Who is at the controls? What happened to Al Davis?

Could a rebirth of Raider Nation be on tap for 2010?

Jump on over to FOXSports.com to chat fantasy baseball, football and whatever else is on your mind at 2pm ET/11am PT.

It’s a quick-paced hour of rambling, Q&A and pontificating about the world at large.

Join him, won’t you?